The First Kiss
by vickitata14
Summary: The kiss at the graduation party from Naoki's point of view. Very little original content, just my thoughts about what more specifically might have been going on in his brain. S1E5 of the Japanese live action version, Love in Tokyo.


When Ikezawa came to school a few days before graduation with his arm around Kotoko, Naoki's lip curled ever so slightly.

The stupid girl had found an equally, if not more stupid object for her affections. Good. They were perfect for each other, after all; the only downside was that their children would probably lower the IQ of the entire country.

Not that Naoki cared. He allowed himself to revel in his scorn a moment longer and then put it from his mind. It wouldn't do to entertain these base feelings. Even in his days as a freshman, when he had first realized how utterly hopeless the various persons of Class F could be, he had not felt this level of contempt. He wasn't used to it, and it put him off his studies and his appetite. He watched as Kotoko and Ikezawa disappeared into the building, and then he turned away from the window.

As he started down the stairs, he noticed that his fingers hurt rather badly. He had been holding his bag too tightly. He switched it to his left hand and continued on his way, gingerly flexing his curled fingers.

. . .

When Naoki arrived at the venue for the graduation party a few days later, the smell of fried noodles was overpowering, but quite honestly appealing after a long day of standing and enduring both his mother's tears and the incessant pestering of girls determined to get his attention at least once. Even Kotoko had asked for his second button; she at least should have known better.

He followed his nose and the directions of the host who had greeted him to a large, open room where the first thing he saw was Kinnosuke Ikezawa tenderly stroking Kotoko's cheek. Suddenly fried noodles didn't sound so good anymore. He despised PDA, particularly between two eminently stupid people.

Naoki could feel his lip beginning to curl, but he quickly brought it back into line when Kotoko noticed him standing there. Her face was exactly what he would have expected; everything always turned round when she saw him: her mouth, her eyes, even her nostrils flared. But Ikezawa's face was priceless-at once frightened and defeated and angry-and Naoki very suddenly had to fight the urge to smirk.

But he only looked at them evenly for another moment before walking silently away. He was against any kind of scene, particularly on such an important night, though he dearly would have loved to see what face Ikezawa would have made had he chosen to greet them.

At least Ikezawa had stopped the disgusting display of affection. He didn't need to put the entirety of Class A off their dinner.

. . .

When a teacher was speaking, it was uncharacteristic of Naoki not to pay attention, but as he leaned against the wall, vaguely aware of a ridiculous back-and-forth between the teachers of Class A and Class F, he found he didn't care. Perhaps it was partially because of his decision to stay at Tonan. The teacher's words of pride for those who had gotten into more competitive schools didn't really apply to him.

Well after all, he could've gotten into Tokyo University if he had wanted. He didn't need a teacher to praise him.

Besides, he kept seeing Ikezawa's stupid face out of the corner of his eye, contorting in triumph every time the Class F teacher said something about how grades weren't so important. A sneer crept back to Naoki's lips. On the one hand, he kind of agreed with the teacher. Grades were not so important. But that didn't mean a failure like Ikezawa had a right to celebrate.

And now here he was, pounding the wall right next to Naoki's head over something Kobayakawa had said. Naoki turned to him as coolly as possible, catching sight of Kotoko's frightened face as he did so.

"Can you guys compete against us in anything but physical strength?"

Ikezawa glowered at him. Naoki never lowered his eyes, although his glance did flicker briefly when Kotoko's face spasmed in reaction. She frowned, and the frown darkened into a glare that she leveled at him. He could feel his teeth set a bit more as he stared Ikezawa down until the other boy stormed out of the room. Kotoko's eyes, unable to hold any expression but confused concern for very long, were wide and wet as they met his for a moment, but then they darted after Ikezawa, and she ran out as well.

Naoki turned his gaze slowly away, vaguely aware of the teacher congratulating Kobayakawa for speaking up. His jaw remained clenched, his fingers hurt again, and he could feel four crescents of sharp pain in his palm.

How could Kotoko rush to comfort such a stupid guy? She didn't even like him. She was stupid herself, but she would never like a stupid guy.

Where had they gone? Were they coming back? Naoki didn't think he could stand to see anymore of them together. Or them at all. It didn't matter whether or not they were together. They were both stupid, and not to be borne. Maybe Ikezawa would seize his chance while Kotoko felt bad for him. She certainly wouldn't entertain him for any other reason, or she was even stupider than Naoki originally thought...

Naoki pushed himself upright off the wall. He had to go to the bathroom.

As he left the room, he nodded at Watanbe, who, for some reason, looked back at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. That guy had some strange ideas...

Naoki shook his head and strode down the hallway. Once out of sight of the party, however, he slowed his pace considerably, and stared fixedly at the pattern on the carpet until he came to a more brightly lit portion of the hallway, where he looked up, and found himself practically on top of Kotoko and Ikezawa.

He couldn't see much of her, but Ikezawa's hand was resting on her cheek the way it had been when Naoki first arrived, and their two faces were very close. Ikezawa looked relaxed, confident even. Hah. If Naoki were in his shoes, perhaps he would feel that confident, but then again he knew Kotoko liked him. Ikezawa had no such luck. If Kotoko kissed him now it would be out of pity, but even then she might not risk it, because she probably believed that stupid school legend...

The strangled shouts of Ikezawa's two buffoonish excuses for friends, however, alerted the couple of his presence, and Kotoko, glancing between the two boys, quickly made some flimsy excuse about her friends and fled. Something warm flared up inside Naoki when he saw her leave Ikezawa behind. After all, it was kind of fun to always be beating him.

"What do you want Mr Genius?" Ikezawa asked, leaning back against the wall. "Did you come to check what Kotoko and I were doing?"

There was a totally unwarranted note of superiority in Ikezawa's voice that irritated him. As if Kotoko would be doing anything with this guy. Naoki didn't even look at him, just started walking again.

"Are you jealous?"

That definitely didn't dignify a response. But then Naoki felt a hand on his shoulder and the something warm inside him became something hot and inflamed. He set his jaw, however, and kept his face bland and uninterested as Ikezawa lectured him on all the great things he was going to do. It was almost too easy to refute his bravado; Naoki barely had to think about it.

"I will kiss Kotoko," the other boy concluded.

Ah! so he hadn't kissed her yet after all. The hot anger subsided once more into satisfying warmth and Naoki turned away. Ikezawa didn't sound so sure, and it pleased him to hear it.

"If you want to have a dream, go to bed."

"You will see!"

Naoki stopped. Damn this guy and his persistence. The certainty had returned and it irked him. This guy had no right to suddenly sound so sure of himself.

"Kotoko is the one who wants to have a great celebration. At the end of high school finally she realized who cared about her most."

She didn't care, though. She didn't care who loved her most because she loved _him_ and she was stupid like that.

"You're jealous now? It's too late. Understand, Mr Genius?"

Ikezawa's footsteps receded quickly back down the hallway, and he and his friends were gone by the time Naoki turned around to look after them. Even then, his expression did not change, but something felt shaken, and it was a long moment before Naoki began to walk once more in the direction of the bathroom.

. . .

When Kotoko flashed that picture at him and winked, several strange things happened all at once. First he felt cold. And then he felt very very warm. His breath caught, and he pursed his lips, rapidly evaluating the situation and coming up empty as she simply flashed the photo and winked once more. This was not what she was supposed to do.

Then again, she had given him a love letter at the gate in front of the whole school.

Vulnerable. He was vulnerable, and she was a real threat, and in the moment before it happened, he knew that he was entirely at her mercy.

Then the photo was being passed around to the tune of some fifty-odd high schools students roaring with laughter and for the first time in his life, he had absolutely no idea what to do. She was laughing, and there was calculated, malicious glee in her voice that made her suddenly somehow older and smarter and more dangerous than he had ever imagined her before.

How dare she?

He was seething with rage and this time he didn't contain it. He grabbed her arm hard, accidentally biting down on his tongue so he tasted blood. Fueled by his own pain, he pressed his fingers into her arm with all the force he could muster; he didn't care if it hurt. He hoped it did.

"You come with me now."

His voice was barely controlled and deadly serious, but their departure was accompanied by oohs and ahs that would have bothered him had he not already been so completely...was this what humiliation felt like?

He dragged her outside, practically threw her against the stair rail. This was wrong. But she played dirty first. Whatever happened next...well. Serve her right.

The most infuriating thing was that beneath the humiliation and the anger was something else, and it felt frighteningly like admiration. There was fear in her eyes but she wasn't cowering. She held her back straight against the railing, didn't flinch or try to nurse the pain that must have come when her spine made contact with the metal, looked him in the eyes, spoke boldly.

"What do you want?"

What did he want? His pride back would be nice. Her disappearance from his life would be a close second.

"I'm not scared of you."

Of course she wasn't. Nothing-nothing he could do to her would ever match the humiliations she consistently inflicted on herself. She had nothing to lose. He couldn't touch her.

"I've had enough."

Now that was interesting. If she said what he thought she was going to say...

"I won't love you anymore."

Ah. There it was.

He inhaled slowly and allowed the flush of impending victory to wash over him. He had her now.

"Really?" He asked the question slowly, almost drawling. "You'll forget about me, huh?"

She smiled. How could she smile? She was about to give up on three years of her life and she was smiling?

"That's right. Now I know who you are." Her voice was starting to break, and the smile was gone, so why were her words still making him angry? "I will forget about you and find a handsome boy at college-"

Once more his hand gripped her arm. He didn't want to cause her pain this time. He just wanted her to remember...

"Go ahead." It felt like every single muscle in his body was engaged in keeping this thing controlled. "Forget about me if you can."

Her lips were soft.

Soft but not yielding. They did not move under his one bit, just sat there, warm and soft and limp.

Not that he cared. He didn't want her to kiss him back, although perhaps that would have been gratifying.

Then again, when he pulled away seconds later, the expression on her face was gratification enough-like a fish turned to stone-and he allowed himself one laugh before the mirth gave way once more to contempt.

"Can you forget about me now?"

The answer was written all over her face. His work was done and done well. It had accomplished everything yet meant nothing.

So why was his heart still beating so fast?


End file.
